Saturday, June 1, 2013

Day 12...

Today I'm sad. I looked at the wastebasket and my hair that has been coming out is in there. Not enormous amounts just when I run my hands through there are pieces some clumps. It's just thinning. I don't know why this saddens me so much because I knew this was going to happen. Just another sad reminder I'm fighting breast cancer. I don't have breast cancer it was cut out of me now I'm fighting it so it won't come back. There is so much devastation in the world and I'm getting upset about hair. I need to remind myself there could be a lot worse things. Oklahoma has been hit hard. Last night again more tornados how scary that must be for them. The women there going through chemo sick, tired, and they have to worry about bad weather on top of already their mountain they have to climb. The parents that lost their babies in the tornado a few weeks ago. Tomorrow is Cody's graduation. I remember that big ole chunky baby put in my arms seemed like yesterday. He will be heading off to make his own life, traveling his own journey making his way in this world. I hope we gave him a good enough start and the tools to make a difference in this world. I want all my kids to make a difference. Make a difference in a strangers life, help those in need, most of all enjoy their lives because life goes by quickly in a blink of a eye it's over. I know he's been having a rough time as of late, and I wish I could take away his pain but life will carry on and he will be fine. Right now momma has to get better so I can be there to watch him continue to grow into a incredible, honorable man. After I had to get fluids in me, the effects have been tolerable. I'm extremely tired right now, I still am getting the stomach cramps. The nausea has subsided for now I'm still taking my nausea meds to try to stay ahead of it. My bones are achey but not like they were. Right now I feel like I can do the next 5 treatments. Yes the first week is your body trying like mad to fight like hell to get the poison out of your body. My body is probably now thinking damn girl whatever you did don't do it again. Little does it know it will be getting hit in another 9 days. This week I go for my blood work and see how much white blood cells are doing if they are strong enough for round 2. Today all the grad parties are starting, I'm gonna miss Reid's but I don't want to get to tired and weak today because I want to be there for Cody's graduation. Plus I got a new zoom lens can't wait to try that puppy out tomorrow. Hoping we have good weather and it will be outside but it is calling for rain in the morning so hopefully it will hold off for their graduation.


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