Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Day 3...

Exhaustion, Queasiness, and that other stuff. I sit here looking out my window sitting on my recliner, my beautiful pink dogwood is now has lost it's blooms and the tree is which was once vibrant and so pink and full of life is now just a tree. A green blah tree. I can't wait to see it bloom again next spring as it will have a lot more meaning to me because of all the countless hours, days I sat here looking out at my tree. It's been a rough week all in all. Just getting my first infusion, neulasta shot, and losing a dear friend all in one week. The chemo will come and go but friends are hard to come by. I think so far I'm tolerating the chemo ok. Of course it's my 3rd day but its been manageable. I know I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't have a good bit of zofran and emend and steroid in me. I'm done with the steroid and emend this cycle and I get to live off zofran and hope it keeps the pukes away. I've been sipping on gaterade as much as I can. I need to drink at least 2 quarts of fluids and I'm way under that so I need to really bump that up. I did eat some mac n cheese today and it actually tasted pretty good. I think my dinner will be broth and pudding and if I can keep that down I will be good today. I've been sleeping off and on, getting as much rest as I can. I do get up in the middle of the night around 3 for a couple hours and then back to sleep. I'm missing Cody's lacrosse game and I just hate it. I hate not being there for him. I feel like a letdown. I'm trying not to get sick because I will be at his graduation! I still can't believe it how is that even possible. Madison came home today and gave me a hug and visited with me for awhile. She doesn't like this. I know she see's my face red and that worries her. Olivia stopped in for a brief moment. I didn't even see Courtney today till she left for Cody's game. I hope the kids don't think I'm a zombie or something. I do want to hear about their days and all. It looks like a storm is brewing. My heart aches for Oklahoma what a horrible tragedy. It just goes to show how suddenly something like a tornado can happen and destroy lives. Also Zach died this week. He was 18 and died from a rare cancer. His song clouds live on forever. I'm not sure if anyone reads this but if you do much love and I hope your having a lovely day.


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