For a change. I went to meet with my surgeon.
I didn't sleep a wink the night before. I tossed and turned the whole night. I watched and listened to Alan snooze away. He would wake up off and on and see how I was. He'd say "Come here baby" and our thing is I lay on his chest and he always rubs and scratches my head. It's always been our thing. I always have told him I want to die this way. It's so comforting, so peaceful. Off and on I did this all night. I didn't sleep but thankfully Alan did.
Onto my good news! We went in and met her assistant. Is everyone at the Cleveland Clinic just the best? I swear she was so nice and comforting too. We then got to meet Dr. Dietz who I immediately felt that "connection". She explained everything to me. She told me my lump was the size of a peanut the actual size of a peanut inside the shell. Like the tip of a fingernail. It is in it's very early stages. Thank goodness. I already had my mind set from the get go of having a mastectomy. So I proceeded to tell her this before she gave me her recommendation. I wanted to tell her this without breaking down. No such luck. I told her I have already been though so much with my stroke and now this Breast Cancer. I wished to just have a mastectomy. She told me the facts. My survival rate is pretty much the same high 90% with either a mastectomy or a lumpectomy. She felt the best case for me was a lumpectomy with a breast reduction/lift was the way to go. Of course all this could change if the lymph nodes come back positive ( which she is doubtful ) or the gene test comes back positive. If either of these do come back we will do the mastectomy. Or if I do change my mind and want the mastectomy she will honor my wishes.
We are hoping to get the surgery scheduled for the beginning of next month in 4 weeks! The plan is the surgery. Then recovery. Then radiation. I wont know if I need chemo until the look at the mass closely. If I do then I do. I will also be taking a pill for 5-10 years everyday. It will immediately put me into menopause since my cancer is hormone driven.
I still need to meet with a geneticist, a neurologist - since I had a stroke to get the green light, plastic surgeon - next Wednesday, someone else I can't remember right now. The ball is moving :) I will be cancer free sooner than later.
We do have a cruise scheduled for October that I'm still hoping on going on. If I need Chemo I will need to postpone it because I will still doing treatment likely till the end of the year.
My cancer is looking at a Stage 1 as of right now until they tell us anything different so that is great news to anyone.
I often really look at people now a days. The ones that stand there smoking. I just hope they never have to hear that dreaded word cancer. I don't want to my loved ones to hear those words you have cancer. Please really stop and think about what you are putting in your body. I didn't even put that in my body and I got cancer. Why take the risk? Is it really worth it? I know I've month's ahead of me that are going to be painful, uncomfortable, worrisome. I know I can do it. I've had needles stuck into my brain that was excruciating. I always said if I could get through that I could get through anything. Well here's another challenge. I'm up for it. I'm feeling much better after today. I feel like I can do it, I feel like it's going to be A OKAY :)