Saturday, March 16, 2013

Dead Beat...

This cold has really kicked me down on the ground. I literally have to make myself get up. Yesterday I had all my testing at the main campus. I met some new doctors who were kind. I got a new Neuro doc whose from Egypt. She is very nice. My pain doc is also from there and I really like him also. Egypt good people thumbs up!  I do need to have a brain MRI and a MRA which I was expecting before I get the all clear. I'm just going to have that done here at the CC in Wooster thankfully. Hopefully no more trips up to the big city till the surgery.   

I also met with the Geneticist and she went over everything with us.  It takes up to 2 weeks to get the results. I've decided that if it was meant for me to have the masectomy it will be determined if I carry the gene or not. I'm hoping that isn't the case. Fingers cross. 

I've been listening to some inspirational songs lately trying to lift my spirits. I've been crying less, I'm just more numb than anything.  I watched this story on MTV life of Jenks where he follows the 3 people for a year and one is a girl name Kaitlin I believe whose 23. Who had cancer a form of bone 2 times now. How awful that must be to be alone and fight this at that age. I'm 42 and a loving support group mine seems curable so far and hers is so uncertain. She is so strong. I admire her. She's beautiful, even when she's bald there is just something about her beauty that just draws you into her. I hope she makes it and is able to live out all her dreams and finds love. 

Today is dreary out, it's grey no sun, cloudy.  I want to go somewhere where I can feel that sun hitting my skin where it makes a puddle on my brow. 

My thoughts bring me back to a old classmate of mine Jeff. He recently had to put down his beloved Lab. She started getting sick and she wasn't well. He thought of her and didn't want her to suffer and had her put down. How I wish so many more could put them first before our own selfish needs. Often we want them to stay with us forever and I only hope I have that kind of courage if my Lily ever gets sick because I would never want her to be in any kind of pain.


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